50 Ways to Kill a Character
by lenkachu
Summary: Have you ever wondered how to kill a character? Well, here's the guide "50 Ways to Kill a Character" which gives you not one, not two, but FIFTY ways to kill a character! Warning: Contains much crack and character deaths. Chapters so far: Yamamoto, Byakuran, Gokudera. Now includes a special 100 ways to kill a Mary Sue!
1. Yamamoto

I apologize to everyone that reads this. It was written in revenge to my friend who insulted Mukuro-kun~

I don't own KHR. If I did, Mukuro would be the main character~

Some of these will make sense, others will be the randomest things I could think of.

I might do requests if you want me to kill off other characters.

* * *

50 Ways to Kill Yamamoto Takeshi

1. Place a remote controlled bomb in his bat. Go to his baseball game. Wait until he goes up to swing. Press the button. SWING, BATTER, BATTER, BOOM.

2. Tie him up, tape his eyes open, and make him watch all the episodes of The Annoying Orange.

3. "Persuade" the pitcher on his team to throw special baseballs at Yamamoto. The ones that get frickin' huge and grow spikes in midair. Replace his bat with Styrofoam.

4. "Persuade" the pitcher to throw timed bombs. Tie Yamamoto's shoelaces together so that he can't run away.

5. Make him read 8059 fanfiction. Wait for him to suicide or propose to Gokudera. If he proposes to Gokudera, give Gokudera extra strength dynamite.

6. Call Squalo and tell him Yamamoto wants a rematch. Hide all of Yamamoto's swords or replace them with a neon pink lightsaber.

7. Make him read all of the Twilight books. Wait for him to suicide.

8. Tell Gokudera that Yamamoto secretly wants to be the right hand man and is planning to eliminate Gokudera.

9. Make him watch My Little Pony. Wait for him to suicide or become a brony. If he becomes a brony, show him **My Little Dashie** and **Cupcakes**. Extra points if he sings the My Little Pony theme song.

10. Tell Yamamoto that Gokudera really likes hugs and being called Hayato-chan.

11. Give him a large cup of lemonade. Talk extensively about how much you love the ocean. Make ocean sounds.

12. Lure him up a cliff with promises of shiny swords. Push him off the cliff.

13. Introduce him to 4chan. Wait for him to suicide.

14. Tell Shamal that Yamamoto thinks he will never get a girlfriend. Recommend he uses the Plague Mosquito.

15. Dye Gokudera's hair pink. Tell him Yamamoto did it.

16. Steal his bat. Beat him up with it.

17. Put chlorine in his water bottle.

18. Make him take the cinnamon challenge. If you don't know what the cinnamon challenge is, a person puts a spoonful of cinnamon in their mouth and he or she cannot drink water or spit out the cinnamon. Hide all the water.

19. Hide Byakuran's marshmallow stash in Yamamoto's house.

20. Make him watch a horror movie marathon. Hide in his closet with a chainsaw and a hockey mask. Scream like a banshee.

21. Get Bianchi to make sports drinks and take them to Yamamoto.

22. Get him addicted to Angry Birds. Never let him play it again. Wait for Angry Birds Withdrawal and eventual suicide.

23. Introduce Squalo to axes. Large axes that can chop through trees. Make him challenge Yamamoto to an ax fight. Videotape it.

24. Stab him with an icicle. His body heat melts it. No weapon is found.

25. Tell Squalo that Yamamoto thinks that he and Xanxus make a cute couple. Watch Squalo go on a muderous rampage. Bring popcorn.

26. Tie him to a chair, tape his eyes open, and make him watch endless commercials.

27. Stab him in the neck with a plastic spork.

28. Tell Belphegor that Yamamoto think his brother's better than him.

29. Steal a van and a machine gun. Mow him down.

30. Steal Shamal's mosquitoes. Kill him with all the diseases.

31. Make him play rock, paper, scissors with Squalo. Make sure Squalo uses his left hand.

32. Drop a watermelon on his head from a 10-story building. If he doesn't die, drop a giant fax machine.

33. Tell Gokudera that Yamamoto and Tsuna are going out. Tell detailed stories about how you saw them together holding hands.

34. Invite him to dinner and order the soup. Drown him in his soup and/or give him third degree burns.

35. Put him in a catapult and hurl him at a wall. Ask him if it reminds him of his fight with Genkishi.

36. Tell Haru that Yamamoto loves to cosplay.

37. Hypnotize him and make him think he's extremely overweight. Call him fat. Wait for anorexia.

38. Shove his head into a tuba. Wait until the air runs out.

39. Paint the reception room pink. Write **_Yamamoto did this_ **in sparkly purple marker all around the room.

40. Bash him repeatedly over the head with a fireplace poker.

41. Throw him into a pit of hungry llamas.

42. Tell Bianchi that Yamamoto thinks his food is better than hers.

43. Hide explosives in a shower head. Wait until he takes a shower.

44. Bludgeon him to death with a set of encyclopedias.

45. Hijack a car. Run him over.

46. Hijack a train. Derail it and run him over.

47. Throw him into a pit of hungry penguins.

48. Bet him that he can't run through a revolving door.

49. Sneak into his room and smother him with a pillow.

50. Force feed him bananas until he explodes.

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That was really weird. The last couple had nothing to do with KHR. That's okay.

Randomness.

Review for more weird.


	2. Byakuran

A couple people wanted Byakuran, so here it is!

Also, I'm co-writing a story with two other people~ You guys should go read it~

It's called **Fall for Me** on UnseenSilverWind~

Alright, self-advertisement done. Onto the story!

I don't own KHR which is good, considering I might kill them all. OuO

I hope you like it~ These kinda have absolutely nothing to do with KHR anymore.

* * *

50 Ways to Kill Byakuran

1. Paint a giant marshmallow onto a wall. Wait for him to run into it. And again. And again...

2. Burn all of his marshmallows.

3. Make a trail of marshmallows that lead off a cliff.

4. Tell him what marshmallows are really made of(gelatin: animal byproducts, like bones and skin.)

5. Tie him to a chair under a ceiling fan. Turn the fan on and cause it to fall on him while spinning.

6. Put golf balls in a machine gun. Fire at will.

7. Rip his wings off and put them through a wood chipper. Put him through the wood chipper.

8. Stuff his mouth with marshmallows until he suffocates.

9. Paint rocks to look like marshmallows.

10. Make him listen to Justin Bieber.

11. Hang him by his ankles from the top of a skyscraper. Sit at the base of the building and slowly roast marshmallows and eat them. Make sure the scent gets to him.

12. Throw him into a pit of hungry camels.

13. Inject his marshmallows with cyanide.

14. Throw fruits at him. Especially, large fruits like watermelons, cantaloupes, and pineapples. Yell that they're good for him.

15. Ask Bianchi to make marshmallows. Send them to Byakuran.

16. Make him watch all the episodes of Jersey Shore.

17. Put knifes in a machine gun. Fire at will.

18. Send him an apple pie. Put a bomb in it.

19. Send him a pineapple. Put a bomb in it.

20. Bludgeon him to death with a lamp.

21. Take him skydiving. Replace his parachute with a marshmallow.

22. Tell Mukuro that Byakuran kidnapped Chrome. Give Mukuro a giant chainsaw and a hockey mask. Put sleeping pills in Byakuran's marshmallows.

23. Stab him with a pair of stilettos.

24. Shoot him with an crossbow. Reload. Shoot. Repeat until bloodlust is satisfied.

25. Tie an anchor on his leg and throw him into the ocean. Release the piranhas.

26. Kick him across the face with steel toed boots. Kick him when he's down.

27. Release rabid animals. Extra points if he gets rabies. Give him the rabies shot(It's like a huge painful needle.

28. Rent a crane. Drop a cactus on him.

29. Hijack a plane. Crash into him.

30. Steal a skateboard. Whack him over the head repeatedly.

31. Tase him. Yell "Pikachu!" while you tase him.

32. Throw him into a pit of hungry koalas.

33. Suffocate him with a plastic bag.

34. Use his head to break into an ATM. Take the money.

35. Tell Xanxus that Byakuran thinks Tsuna's stronger than him. Also better looking.

36. Bludgeon him to death with a cello.

37. Give him a pretzel. Tell a funny joke. Make him choke to death.

38. Tell him to go collect shells on the beach. Cause a tsunami.

39. Lure him up a volcano with marshmallows. Push him in.

40. Hand him a piece of paper. Give him a papercut. The paper was dipped in poison.

41. Shove his head inside a blender. Press liquefy.

42. Tie him to a giant dartboard. Throw watermelon knives.

43. Feed him marshmallows until he explodes.

44. Get a crate of coffee mugs. Break them over his head until he dies of blood loss. Extra points if you fill them with hot coffee.

45. Make him read the Twilight books.

46. Tie him to the roof of a train. Drive through low tunnels.

47. Drown him in the toilet. Extra points if it was used.

48. Tie him up. Drop stones on him. Paint them like marshmallows.

49. Shove his head into a fish tank. Release the piranhas.

50. Shoot him through the neck with a harpoon.

* * *

I hope you liked it~ They kinda don't have anything to do with KHR anymore. Just random killing...

Review for more weird~

Go read my collaboration with Lazura234 on UnseenSilverWind's page. It's called **Fall for Me.** GO READ IT PLEASE!~~

GUESS WHICH ONE'S MY CHARACTER~


	3. Gokudera

Sorry this took so long. I'm just a little bit busy with school and tests...

Plus I haven't been feeling the crack murdering.

Alright, here's Gokudera!

Please go read **Fall for Me** by UnseenSilverWind. It's a collaboration between her, Lazura234 and meeee~

Enjoy!

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50 Ways to Kill Gokudera Hayato

1. Put pictures of Bianchi's face all over Gokudera's apartment.

2. Tell him you saw an UMA on the top of a cliff. Push him off the cliff.

3. Cook food in a pan. Wait until the food is really hot. Hit him in the face with the pan, food side first.

4. Throw barrels at him. Put bombs in the barrels.

5. Tell him that Tsuna never loved him.

6. Show him 8059 fanfiction/fanart. Not just fluff either. Like the really hardcore stuff. Wait for him to commit suicide.

7. Hit him over the head with chairs.

8. Tie him to an electric chair. Gradually increase the shocks. Ask him if it reminds him of his fight with Gamma.

9. Bludgeon him to death with a desk lamp.

10. Shove his face into Styrofoam and wait for suffocation.

11. Steal Shamal's trident mosquitoes. Give Gokudera the plague. Also anything fatal, preferably slow acting.

12. Launch encyclopedias at him with a missile launcher. Put missiles with the encyclopedias.

13. Tie him to a target. Steal Belphegor's knives. Put on a blindfold and throw the knives at the target.

14. Run him over with a tank. Repeatedly.

15. Knock him unconscious and stuff him in a punching bag. Send it to Ryohei as a present.

16. Throw him into a pit of hungry turtles.

17. Tell Shitt-P that Gokudera wants to marry her.

18. Stab him in the neck with a piccolo.

19. Call Xanxus and tell him Gokudera thinks Xanxus is a weakling.

20. Paint the reception room neon pink. Write 'Gokudera was here' in sparkly purple glitter.

21. Rent a crane and drop a piano on him.

22. Make him listen to Justin Bieber 24/7.

23. Hire Russian men to dance on him wearing pointy metal cleats.

24. Catapult washing machines at his face.

25. Handcuff him to Lambo. Replace everything in Lambo's head with nuclear weapons. Evacuate the country.

26. Hit him in the face with a sledgehammer repeatedly.

27. Sneak Bianchi's poison cooking into his refrigerator.

28. Give him a bunch of paper cuts, tie him up, and throw him into a piranha-infested river.

29. Strangle him with a shower curtain.

30. Break plates over his head until he loses consciousness or you run out of plates.

31. Shove his head into a fishbowl.

32. Stab him in the everywhere with stiletto shoes.

33. Throw him into a pit of rabid squirrels.

34. Drown him in a bowl of melted marshmallows.

35. Steal his shoes and socks. Put legos on the ground.

36. Stuff tissue into his mouth until he suffocates.

37. Push him into a pool of strawberry pudding. Wait for suffocation.

38. Drop elephants on him.

39. Run him over with a motorcycle.

40. Bludgeon him to death with a golf club.

41. Stick him with a bunch of rusty needles.

42. Steal Hibari's tonfas and paint them hot pink. Tell him Gokudera did it.

43. Stuff gummy bears into his mouth until he suffocates.

44. Tell Mukuro that Gokudera called him a pineapple.

45. Tie him onto a chair. Attach all of his bombs to him. Light them and play the Mysterious Ticking Noise. Extra points if you hear Voldemort's part after he explodes.

46. Steal Mukuro's trident and paint it neon yellow. Tell him Gokudera did it.

47. Tape a tuna to his face. Wait for a bird of prey to attack his face.

48. Hide in his closet wearing a clown costume while wielding a chainsaw. Come out when he's asleep.

49. Bludgeon him to death with a pineapple.

50. Douse him in gasoline and obtain a flamethrower. You know the rest.

* * *

Shameless self advertising. Maybe just a little shame. *checks* Nope. No shame.

Go read Fall for Me on UnseenSilverWind's page. It's a collaboration between me, her, and our friend, Lazura234.

It's pretty awesome if I do say so myself.

Go review on that story and this story and your request gets priority.

* * *

The next chapter is going to be a special!

100 Ways to Kill a Mary Sue.

Thanks guest Yui for the idea~ OuO You get a cookie~

Requests so far:

Tsuna, Hibari, Mukuro, Lussuria, Xanxus, Skull, Bermuda.

I think I missed some. o-o

Anyways review who you want to see die next next chapter and get oreos!


	4. Mary Sue

WAHHH. I'M SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE. OH GAWD. THIS THING TOOK FOREVER.

School has been horrible. Plus SATs... It's amazing I haven't gone crazy. *reads the story* ...Nope. I'm crazy.

Here's your special Mary Sue deaths. Who doesn't want to kill a Mary Sue?

Thanks again to guest Yui for the idea! *Showers with cookies*

This was really random and stuff. Yeah. Enjoy!

* * *

~SPECIAL~ 100 Ways to Kill a Mary Sue ~SPECIAL~

1. Tell her Tsuna wants to give her a high five. It's totally an X-Burner.

2. Hit her in the face with chainsaws.

3. Tie her up and force-feed her all the poison cooking.

4. Attach extra strength dynamite to her everything. Boom.

5. Give her hundreds of paper cuts and tie cinder blocks to her ankles. Throw her into a piranha infested river.

6. Hijack a sixteen wheeler and run over her. Back up. Run over her. Repeat.

7. Knock her unconscious and put her in a giant banana costume. Release wild gorillas.

8. Paint Mukuro's trident hot pink. Blame her.

9. Put glitter on HIbari's tonfas. Blame her.

10. Put Barbie and Care Bear stickers on Xanxus's guns. Blame her.

11. Tie her to a wall and shoot arrows at her face. Because arrows are awesome.

12. Suffocate her with tuna. Just get a bunch of tuna fish and shove her face in it.

13. Tie her by her ankles to the top of a skyscraper. Shoot harpoons at her.

14. Make her listen to Justin Bieber.

15. Shoot her with the TYL-Bazooka. Throw her TYL self into a spike filled pit. Wait for them to switch. Double Kill.

16. Shove her head into a fishbowl filled with bleach.

17. Tie her up and put her in a cannon. Fill another cannon with swords. Shoot them both simultaneously.

18. Put up Twilight and Justin Bieber posters in the disciplinary room. Paint the room pink and throw glitter everywhere. Rig the door so that when Hibari walks in, streamers land on his head. Write "Mary Sue did this." on the walls in neon yellow paint.

19. Suffocate her with pie. Pewdiepie. Or Pinkie Pie. Or for the tame people, you can use apple pie. The secret ingredient is hot sauce.

20. Get Adelheid to stab Mary Sue with giant icicles.

21. Or suffocate Mary Sue with her bosom.

22. Make her step on a Lego repeatedly.

23. Tell Tsuna's daddy that she tried to raep Tsuna.

24. Bludgeon her to death with pineapples and watermelons and durians. Oh my.

25. Make her watch the new Twilight movie.

26. Tie her to a target and throw apples at her. Then throw axes. Because both start with the letter A.

27. Shoot her. In the face. With a machine gun.

28. Tell Squalo that Mary Sue thinks that Yamamoto is a better swordsman than Squalo and that Squalo should just stick to being Xanxus's wifey.

29. Use Dark magic to summon a hell beast to eat her face.

30. Tell Doctor Shamal that Mary Sue needs a doctor. Knock Mary Sue unconscious. Give Dr. Shamal a suspicious white van.

31. Taze her in the everywhere while screaming 'Pikachu!'

32. Go to the top floor of a skyscraper. Tie her up and push her down the stairs. Race her with a Slinky.

33. Stuff her inside a punching bag. Send it to Ryohei.

34. Or tell Ryohei that Mary Sue was mean to Kyoko.

35. Make her play Slender alone in a dark room with headphones on. Get Mammon to make his tentacle illusions.

36. Throw her into a volcano. Offer her soul to the lava gods.

37. Make her play Ao Oni with headphones on. Dress up as Ao Oni and play "It's Raeping Time."

38. Put her inside a barrel filled with spikes. Throw the barrel down a cliff. Plant many cacti at the bottom.

39. Lock her in a freezer.

40. Get Shitt P. to stab Mary Sue with her eight claw things that come out of her back.

41. Or suffocate Mary Sue with her bosom.

42. Put her face in front of a gas stove. Loosen the gas pipe. Turn on the stove. Kaboom. One Mary Sue. Extra crispy.

43. Hit her with a beach ball repeatedly. If that fails, summon evil spirits to devour her soul.

44. Drop a piano on her face.

45. Make her play the Witch's House with headphones on. Obtain a purple wig and a red dress. Hold a bloody teddy bear and scissors while smiling creepily.

46. Make her read creepypasta. Hide in her closet with a chainsaw and a ghost mask.

47. Tell Spanner that Mary Sue tried to raep Shoichi.

48. Or that Mary Sue tried to steal one of Spanner's lollipops.

49. Tie her to a wall and get Chikusa to shoot needles at her until she looks like a hedgehog.

50. Tell Shouchi that Mary Sue tried to raep Spanner.

51. Feed her to Shouichi's giant carnivorous plants.

52. Get Ghost to absorb her flames until she turns into nothingness.

53. Leave a trail of candy into a box. The candy is poison and the box is filled with automatic spikes that activate when Mary Sue enters the box.

54. Bludgeon her to death with buckets.

55. Impale her onto a wall with a spear.

56. Tell Colonello that Mary Sue attacked Lal Mirch.

57. Trap Mary Sue in a cage of Gamma's giant balls. (That's what she said.) Electrocute her. Crispy.

58. Summon aliens to abduct her and cut her head open to eat her brains(if she has any).

59. Tell Gokudera that Mary Sue attacked Tsuna.

60. Or that Mary Sue raeped Tsuna.

61. Shove a hose into her mouth. Turn the water on high. Wait until she explodes.

62. Make her do homework. Wait for suicide.

63. Get Reborn to shoot Mary Sue in the head repeatedly with Chaos Shot

64. Tell Lussuria that Mary Sue stole all the boys and he's going to be forever alone.

65. Or that Mary Sue called him a flamboyant homosexual and that he should stop showing off his giant peacock.

66. Tell Lal Mirch that Mary Sue likes Colonello.

67. Or that Mary Sue called Lal Mirch a paedophile for preying on Colonello.

68. Lock her in a room with Lambo. Wait for both to suicide.

69. Get Mukuro to make his flame pillar illusions. Throw her into the flames. Watch her burn.

70. Or tell Mukuro that Mary Sue called him a pineapple.

71. Or that Mary Sue was mean to Chrome. (or tried to raep Hibari.)

72. Shove a clarinet down her windpipe.

73. Lock her in a room with pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows. *dies from adorableness/sparkle/crack overload*

74. Tie a chain to her ankles and hang her over a pool. Dip her head in until she almost drowns then pull her out. Then dip her in again and pull her out. Repeat for as long as you want.

75. Throw a sandwich mine at her because THIS SANDWICH DOESN'T HAVE TURKEY IN IT. FRICKIN' GET IT RIGHT.

76. Drop a giant rock on her head. Worship the rock for protecting the world from evil. Make the rock your god. Bow to the rock.

77. Beat her up with bowling pins and run her over with a unicycle. Then join the circus.

78. Douse her with gasoline. Set her on fire.

79. Push her into a pool during a lightning storm.

80. Tell Yamamoto that Mary Sue tried to raep Gokudera.

81. Or that Mary Sue wants to play catch. With a grenade.

82. Lock her inside an iron maiden.

83. Bribe The Grandmaster of All Things Bad with a perfect apple to YOOM-TAH Mary Sue.

84. Tell Basil that Mary Sue hates dolphins.

85. Scalp Mary Sue with a rusty hacksaw. After all, the multicolored hair is the source of their power.

86. Tell Haru that Mary Sue tried to raep Tsuna.

87. Throw her into a pit filled with bear traps.

88. Get Bianchi to kill Mary Sue by turning her into poison cooking.

89. Feed her to cannibals.

90. Introduce her to 4chan and 9gag. Wait for suicide.

91. Put her head in a tank of water. Freeze the water with her head in it. Sledgehammer the hell out of that stuff.

92. Commit a giant crime in the mafia world and frame Mary Sue. Make sure she is locked up in the lowest floor with the water tanks and stuffs.

93. Shoot her in the everywhere with a laser gun. Yell "IMMA FIRING MA LASER."

94. Drop a giant brofist on her head.

95. Drop her out of a helicopter onto a landmine-infested clearing

96. Tell Chrome that Mary Sue tried to raep Mukuro.

97. Or that Mary Sue thinks Chrome is a pansy that should wear pants.

98. Bludgeon her to death with a baseball bat.

99. Feed Tsuna steroids and crazy drugs and sic him on Mary Sue.

100. Tell Byakuran she stole his marshmallows. Cackle evilly in the background while eating marshmallows.

* * *

Um yeah. This took a long time. Twas fun though.

Note(s): I spell rape like raep for some reason. I don't know. I'm weird. I blame the rock god. Same with paedophile.

Requests so far:

Tsuna, Hibari, Mukuro, Lussuria, Xanxus, Bermuda, Skull, Reborn, Fran.

Pretty sure I missed a couple...huh.

Please request more!


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